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Nothing matters to me anymore.

Iapos;m sick of a diapointment. I should just stop caring, go mute. Stop loving, push it away until I know itapos;s a good time to accept it. And I mean everything. This is literally shit.

So what, no comic con. The money spent was pointless. No ride. No nothing. No smiles, no laughter. Everything seems false, and everything feels ignored. I wish I had an exacto knife right now. The first time I held one, I thought to myself even more uses beyond paper. Then I friends friend clued me in on how she stole one and uses it. What an artistic way to go. Smeer my blood all over a canvas. I want to do this painting on suicide, actually. But like Iapos;ll be able to afford it. Nothing good has happened, and so far, for the next few years, nothing good ever will. I just donapos;t feel like itapos;ll happen. I used to be happy all the time. Everyday. It was something surprising if I was sad. I miss those days more than I miss my own mother. I miss them -really- bad. But, missing things wonapos;t bring them back. Neither will forcing them. All in all, what Iapos;m trying to say is:

I give up on being happy.

-Sao

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Hellooo me :)

well, this will be my first entry in this livejournal. Yesh, i did another livejournal account again :D i have not been very consistent in using blog address as i kept changing it over and over again. Or i will change from�blgospot to livejournal and from�livejounal to blogspot again. And now i am having the urge to chnage back to livejournal again. LOL�:)�

itapos;s quite late now and i donapos;t feel like sleeping.�

�

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Iapos;m going to the philippines in like less than 8 hours got punched my a patient today, fell on the floor... 2 people had to get me up... PRAISE�GOD� if thatapos;s all you got enemy... Bring it� no one can stop the WILL�OF�GOD...�

redness and swelling on the left anterior chest wall noted.� complaints of moderate pain around the injury area.� continued on ice pack treatment.� disoriented.� needs met. Will continue the WILL�OF�GOD.� destination, Philippines.

laters...

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Butterfly chasing is a hobby for some, an obsession for others. Calming the butterflies in your belly is an everyday occurance for most, particularly during these economic times.

You wouldn't think that would be the case with defending two-time Sprint Cup champion Jimmie Johnson, but it is. Indeed. This Wally Cleaver in a firesuit constantly deals with the stress that come with leading a championship chase.

It drives him to be even better.

"Yeah, without a doubt," said Johnson, who takes a 69-point lead over Jeff Burton into Sunday's race in Martinsville. "I certainly go through a variety of emotions from butterflies to worried about what the day holds, what could happen. I find a lot of that stuff to be helpful in preparing me for whatever situation may come up during the day."

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Yeah me and my obsessive posting. So I had to GUT WoW from my computer. And well no matter what it is giving me errors left and right (while using the INSTALLER DISCS), so I am currently downloading the client. Who knows when I will have everything back up and running. So if it isnapos;t fast enough on getting all set up I will miss the promised Kara run tomorrow night :( *lame* I am just sad though. And if downloading it doesnapos;t work and it STILL gives me an error, I will have to like wipe my computer clean (granted it could use a spit shine). And then voila even longer. So if youapos;re a Retribution Paladin...have fun for me. I am still waiting to plug in my spec. So if any of you have any ideas on how to assist in the situation...please? XD
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ZOMG YES GOOD NEWS
Courtney is going to come with me to the silverstein concert and weapos;re picking up our tickets at erin mills on sunday when we buy anaritaapos;s present Iapos;m meeting up with Vino, Michael, Daniel, Nick, David, and maybe Jessica Mizzi
SHIT Iapos;M FUCKING STOKED LIKE AHHHHHHHHHHHH
I canapos;t breathe iapos;m so excited

oh and iapos;m sick but i donapos;t give TEEHEE.

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So just before I shut down for the night, I check blackboard for any updates. Nothing new, really, as expected. Right before I close it, however, I check grades for psychology. I wasnapos;t expecting anything yet, because, well, theyapos;re papers, and they were due yesterday...
I got a 100/100
That confused the crap out of me, apos;cause my paper sucked balls (I got tired of working on it Sunday night and sent it in with a whole section missing, and horribly lazy citations).

Then I check again.
The -average grade- is 100 xD
Either the grades are going to change, or he totally doesnapos;t care and we get full credit for handing in -anything-.

I hope itapos;s the latter xD

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getting through a crazy week without forgetting to do something important.

seeing Sophia in her Brownie enrollment Tuesday night.

eating the pumpkin pie I bought at a bake sale on Thursday. I couldn't get any of my family to eat any, so I had it all to myself. And I did eat it all... In five servings, I think. Pumpkin pie is great for breakfast

taking Friday off. The girls (and Neil) also had the day off school. I did stuff around the house, but I'm sorry to say it looks no better right now than when Friday started.

going to a Christmas card stamp camp with a friend and making some beautiful cards. It was a fun evening, and I'm pleased to have finished them all there so I don't have to finish them at home (which is typical for me).

seeing many relatives on Neil's side in Avonlea on Saturday and at Aunt Elsie's funeral and supper on Sunday. It's always great to visit with them. The service was lovely too.

eating all the great food served at Neil's parents' house on Saturday and at the large family supper on Sunday.

getting August and September photos selected and printed over the weekend. They were especially
Photo-heavy months (even without those two weeks of vacation photos I
Lost), so it was a big job. I'm glad it's done though, and I'm happy to be a little more
Prepared for my weekly scrapbook assignments.

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I�had a random to urge to watch lil Junsu videos and I never noticed how cute he was during his audition (esp @ :30)�


Try to resist replaying the cute little blink he does. �If you can, youapos;re a much stronger woman than I�am.� Ahhh Junsu.� I�love random Junsu-flails haha.� I think about him all the time, but technically this is the only time itapos;s documented haha.� (Resisting the urge to do picspam grrr).

Anybody want a Junho/Junsu picspam???� (Who can resist a hot pair of twins haha?� Iapos;ll come back later~)



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